HopeK429
Tennessee
joined:
It's ok to live a life no one else understands, remember that :)
Working on me for ME
After all these years of self development the one thing I've realized and have to remind myself of often is
Just more thinking :)
Here's some truths for ya , You know You can be a really good friend, and still not be liked. You can hold someone dear and still not be valued. You can say all the right things, and still have someone twist your words, brush off your words, or worse—use your words against you. You can give it your absolute best, and still have it not work out. You can be straight-up sunshine in the flesh, and still have dark clouds rain all over ya... You can play your heart out, and still lose the game. You can place the highest bid, and still walk away empty-handed. You can be as good as you can humanly possibly be , and still be painted as the bad guy. After years of work, these are some things I’ve learned: 1. You can’t control other people. Not even in the slightest, and it is a complete waste to ever assume you can. It will make you angry, and exhausted, and chasing something you don’t have a chance to catch, so switch gears and control you. Control your mouth. Control how you treat people. Control your attitude. Guard your heart, and keep it genuine. Keep showing up, and let that be enough. Other people aren’t you. They don’t think like you, or feel like you. Their experiences belong to them alone. They approach situations differently, and their outlook is nothing like yours. Don’t expect them to handle things exactly like you do. They aren’t you. They’re them. Do your best to love them for it any ways, ,Some people are never going to like you, and there isn’t necessarily a rhyme or reason, but I/m betting your life will improve significantly as soon as you learn this. Sometimes you’re actually the bad guy. Sometimes you’re the one acting foolish. Sometimes you’re the one with the toxic trait or two. Check your own heart. Clean out the junk, and grow from it. Apologize, and now that you’ve learned—take that wisdom, do better next time, stay humble, and give others an awful lot of grace along the way, and I finally am learning that there is a purpose to it all. There is beauty everywhere. That failed friendship will teach you how to do the next one better. That heartache will remind you to be gentle with other people. That loneliness will help you appreciate connection when you do find it—and you will find it, don't go looking for it what's meant to be will find you in it's own time.. Not every season lasts forever, but every season does produce something eventually, even if it’s just a fresh perspective and a new way of thinking about things.. Life is a long series of letting some things go and holding others close—a catch and release sort of cycle. Let go of needing approval. Let go of bitterness, and resentment, and any of that other junk we all seem to carry around with us.. Let go of insecurity. Let go of guilt. It will keep you shackled like nothing else ever will do, Fear and guilt are crippling... Hold close to your family and the people in your life who have stuck around. Hold close to your morals and your integrity. Hold close to your light and your joy and your hope. Hold close to today. Believe in tomorrow. Hold closest to love. At the end of the day, it’s all that really matters, and as long as you have it—you have more than enough to survive this crazy world we live in today..
Be a good friend :)
It’s a beautiful thing when we learn to sit with our friends. To sit with them in the muck and the murk and the funk. To sit with them through the trials and the struggles and the hurt. Not to save them (because we aren’t Jesus. We can’t save anyone. Life is going to happen and we can’t be the shield that stops all pain.) Not to be their therapist (because 99% of us aren’t qualified.) Not to receive anything in return (because they probably aren’t in a place where they have much to give.) Not to tell them what to do or where to go or how to feel, but to meet them where they are. To be their safe space and a source of comfort. To ensure that even when the skies get dark, they aren’t sitting there getting pounding by the storm alone. To love them. To walk in when the rest of the world walks out. To hold their hand and offer a shoulder and an encouraging word, and when they ask for it, sound advice. And mostly, to remind them who they are and why they’re here when they’ve forgotten. To believe in them and goodness and hope when they can’t feel the warmth of the sun. So if you want to be there for your friends, don’t worry about finding the right words. There may not be any. Just show up. Authentically. Compassionately. With open arms and an open heart. And sit. It may not seem like much. It may not immediately (or ever) change their mood, or their circumstances, but trust me, it’s enough. Love,
Hope
