Mick and Sean had been drinking buddies for many years.After having a couple of beers at the pub, Mick says to Sean,“We’ve been buddies for years and if I should die before you, could you do me a favor? Get a bottle of good whiskey and pour it over me grave, and let it soak into the soil I’m buried under.”Sean replied, “I would be glad to do that for me oldest friend. Would it be OK if I passed it through me bladder first?”

After all these years of self development the one thing I've realized and have to remind myself of often is
You're always living inside of one of your answered prayers while you wait for the next! There is always room for gratitude of how far you have come while waiting to see how far you will go! :)

Several years ago, I watched the news go by, hearing what politicians said and how it was reported. Utterly fallacious statements were made by one particular pol, and the press eagerly jumped on the bandwagon with its full-throated approval, even though history -- and not ancient history even, recent history -- demonstrated quite clearly that these ideas did not work.
Flash forward to the present, and that same press is braying at all of us that "mother" and "father" are now unacceptable old terms. This is a biological impossibility, but that doesn't stop the madness. My hairdresser recently threw one of her daughter's friends out of her house for referring to her, repeatedly, as her daughter's "birthing person." Being adopted, I get even more of a kick out of this idiocy, since my "birthing person" was not my mother. The United States Air Force now advises that no reference should be made to a service member's "mother" or "father," and has even created a video for new recruits to educate them on using fellow service members by their proper pronouns.
As if. Boys are boys. Girls are girls. It's chosen for us, and if we're unsure, it's easy enough to look down one's own body and identify the salient parts. And for the love of God, not one of us, other than a royal, is a "we" -- as in, "we are not amused." The rest of us are just me, or you, or him or her, or my. Not "our," "my." Every time I see an individual referred to as a "they" in a news story it just cracks me up.
Can the time be far distant when each of us decides what color the sky is, and when it will be offensive to refer to it as blue lest we offend another who "identifies" it as red?
It's time we stop the madness. Language exists cooperatively, otherwise it becomes babble. Our newest Supreme Court justice may not know what a woman is, but I do. Been one all of my adult life. The United States was formed in 1776, not 1619 -- and in 1776, it had to fight the greatest existing power at the time just to be able to form THEN. If we can't agree on actual facts, society's utter breakdown is inevitable.
Sorry to be so direct today, and not the slightest bit amusing. Just wanted to encourage everyone who can read this to run over to a safe space where one can conduct truth-telling, and encourage other to join them!!!!!

Phillip came to me today and said it was time for me to go.
I looked at him and smiled, as I whispered that ' I know '

I then turned and looked behind me, and seen I was asleep.
All my family were around me, and I could hear them weep.

I gently touched each shoulder, with Phillip by my side,
Then I turned away and walked, with my angel guide.

Phillip held my hand, as he led the way,
to a world where kings and queens,
Are monarchs every day.

I was given a crown to wear, or a halo known to some,
The difference up here, they are worn by everyone.

I felt a sense of peace, my reign had seen its end,
70 years I had served my country, as the peoples friend.

Thank you for the years, for all your time and love,
Now I'am one of two again,
In our palace up above.

Two cowboys standing at the bar drinking with one of them looking out over the tables. As he studies the crowd he's looking hard at this one gal. He elbows his buddy and says "look ain't that ole Hortense over there"? His buddy turns around and says "nah, she looks pretty relaxed to me". duh!!!
Two ole drunk cowboys stumbled out of the honky tonk and as they walked past the row of cars, one noticed this ole dog rolled over on it's back licking himself. "I wish I could do that" he said. His buddy said "You might want to pet him first".!!
These aren't very funny times folks, with all the sickness, droughts, wild fires, Queens dieing and crazies with guns it's almost like a world I don't recognise. Some we can correct ourselves the others, we might want to pray and ask for help with those.

A gentleman on his 39th birthday, decides it is time to get his constant headaches resolved. He goes to the Dr and tells his complaint, "I have been having terrible headaches since I turned 30, and they get more and more painful". The Doctor immediately sets him up for all kinds of tests, all of which come back inconclusive. He is sent to a specialist, who also sets him up for more intensive and intrusive tests. Again, there is nothing conclusive. Finally, his second specialist recommends castration as the "only possible" way to stop the incessant headaches. After many months of talking to his wife, priest, counsellor and family, he decides that is the only way to end this torment.
He returns to the second specialist and concedes. Hoping to end this torment, he is admitted to the hospital and has his members removed. Almost immediately upon release, he has wonderful results. His headaches have ceased and he has a much calmer outlook of life. His wife and family are amazed that he has been doing so well, they decide to throw a big birthday party for him on his 40th birthday. With three months to plan, they inform him and he decides he must have a special suit to wear for this occasion. He goes to the finest tailor with the best reputation in his town and informs them of the situation. They spend many hours measuring, cutting, fitting and making sure he is to look as wonderful as he feels. As he is trying on the suit three days before the event, his tailor asks him, "How do the sleeves feel?"
"Just terrific, thank you."
And how do you like the cut of the slacks?"
"They are perfect," he tells the tailor.
"Now, one more thing to totally perfect the suit, you need new underwear that has never been worn." says the tailor.
"Great!", he says. "I wear size 32."
"Oh, no." says the tailor. "Your slacks are size 38."
"But I've worn size 32 since i was in high school." he explained.
The tailor explained, "You need size 38 underwear, or you will get a terrible headache."

So here we have Chantelle, a teacher once told her that her looks would be her saving grace, and so it proved to be...she was extraordinally pretty, but also was as thick as two short planks.
Her saviour came in the form of a guy who just happened to own the biggest casino in London town.
A business man to the core, he could see the potential in her drawing in the punters, and groomed her into being the most glamorous and attractive croupier in the world.
His Royal Highness Sadiz was the casino's most prolific customer. It was not unknown for him to lose & win millions of pounds in a single evening!
Chantelle soon caught his attention.
One night, as she prepared to take a coffee break, a man in a space blue tuxedo came across to her and pressed a gold embossed business card into her hand.
"His Royal Highness requests that you join him for dinner tomorrow evening"
It was more a summons than a request..
"But I'm working tomorrow " she blurted out.
Then looking over his shoulder, she could see the face of her Pit boss, slowly nodding his assent.
And so it transpired, dinner at the Ivy and back to the Royal suite at the Dorchester.
She awoke the following morning ...alone.
HRH obviously had pressing business elsewhere.
A knock at the door and a voice "Room service"
She opened the door and ushered in the waiter/butler.
He pushed a trolley laden with the most sumptuous breakfast she had ever seen.
She reached for her purse,only to be admonished with "We don't accept tips Madam"
Laid amongst the fare was a solid gold iphone with a card on it that said,simply Chantelle.
The waiter bowed out of the room.
Chantelle picked up the phone...it was really heavy.
She picked at the food, the eggs benedict were delicious!
She decided on a quick shower and just as she finished towelling her hair the phone chimed.
She swept right and the voice of the tux, from last night, said "Chantelle?"
"His Highness had unexpected business, he flew to Dubai this morning."
She still had not spoken as he continued "I have a proposition for you, I need a definitive answer now"
"His Highness is offering you a Villa in Dubai for your sole usage,he is also willing to pay £20,000 PER WEEK into a named bank account of your choice"
"His private Jet will be at your beck and call, should you wish to return to the UK or have friends and family visit you .
*************************************************
"Hi Mum, it's Chantelle"
"Oh hello love...have you got a new phone then?"
"Yes, sort of Mum, look I'm going to Dubai"...............
"Oh that's nice dear, you deserve a holiday"
"Not exactly Mum...I'm going to live there, but you can visit me anytime you like, my new bloke is rather well off, I will let you know when I am settled in, Ok?"
****************************************************
Three month's later.
"Mum?"...It's me. I really need you to fly out here, I can't explain over the phone"
"Your flight is booked for tomorrow, Heathrow, Terminal 3 departing at 11am"
"Please Mum...."
Her Mum dutifully arrived, surveying the luxurious surroundings that encompassed her daughter.
"Mum, you can close your mouth now!"
"Sorry love, I just can't believe all this luxury!"
"'I'm coming home Mum"
"Why love? when you have all this?"
Chantelle started to explain, "The thing is Mum, he only wants sex by going up my khyber..."
"Oh don't worry love, a lot of men are like that"
"The thing is Mum, when I came out here my khyber was the size of a 5 pence piece...now it's the size of a 50 pence piece!"
"You silly girl!, are you really going to give all this up for the sake of 45p???"

Please accept the heartfelt condolences of one of those in that first escaped colony on the passing of your lovely Queen Elizabeth. Very few, if any, of us will be working (at 96!) two days before we are dead. Her lifetime of dedicated service will stand as a shining example for the whole world for generations to come.

Godspeed, Ma'am.

the world has lost a great world leader today. God bless and keep Queen Elizabet ii in your loving graces. please all say a prayer for her today.