orange_sadona

 
registro: 26-10-2014
LET'S ALL REMEMBER THE ONLY PERFECT PERSON DIED ON A CROSS THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO.
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Personality Change

     Have you ever know someone who was so supper nice most of the time you knew them and then suddenly their personality starts to change for no reason that you can see?   This is what is going on with my brother-in-law, and it is really starting to make me irate.   Every time I call to talk to my sister which is not that often anymore he is always yelling things in the back ground about me calling.  Come on dude she was my sister before she was your wife and I do not appreciate you  trying to keep us apart.   My sister and I used to do all kinds of things together.   We would go to the movies, she would come over and visit, she would come over for me to give her back rubs when her back was hurting, both she and her husband would stop to see me on Christmas day.  It is literally to the point the only time I get to see her anymore is when there is a death in the family and they take me to the funeral home or when they take me to a doctor appointment.   It appears now he is trying to even stop me from seeing her them, OK I can maybe deal with that, but not being able to talk to her on the phone is unacceptable.   
     We lost one of our siblings  a short time ago, which made the ones that are left all the more precious  to me, and I resent someone trying to take away any time I can spend with them.     Then I found out tonight my niece has ovarian cysts, and no one told me that.   Tonight I am in a level 8 depression and I am not sure how I will pull myself out of it.   My first instinct is to go eat enough carbs to put myself into a sugar coma at least then I would be able to sleep, but I know that is not the answer.   The problems would still be there when I woke up, so I set here typing my heart out to strangers.  I have learned the hard way self destructive behavior like eating a bunch of sweets when you are depressed only leads to a deeper depression in the morning when you wake up and see how high your blood sugar level is, and the problem that caused the binge is still very much there.
     What I am thinking is the next time my brother-in-law starts throwing that F word around maybe I will throw it around some too.  Next time he makes a remark in the background about my sister still being on the F***ing call.    I will tell my sister to tell him to mind his own F***ing business cause I am not done talking to my F***ing sister.   Wonder if that will shock her into seeing there is something wrong with her husband.   My dad never allowed that F word around us and I can not believe she allows him to use it like he has lately.   Fact is this is NOT the personality he has represented to us for the 47 years they have been married.   This side just came out a couple years ago.   That was the first time I heard him use that F word and it shocked me then.   If I do what I am thinking about doing I may lose them both forever, but with it like it is now it is nearly the same as not really having them.   We can not bring our brother that died back, but we should not lose the ones still here before their time.
     I have been thinking a lot about dying in the past year, and now I understand what John Walton meant when he told one of his sons time has a way of taking care if it when his son asked him about being afraid of dying.   I used to be scared to death of dying, but lately I am not so much.   Used to be blind terror would run through me at the thought, but now it hardly raises a shiver.  I guess my personality is changing too.  
     Want to know something weird usually a day like today would have had me stress eating sense it happened but for some reason I do not really want any food.   Odd right?