A woman goes shopping with her husband and spots a pair of boots she loves. The husband says, "No chance love, they're way too expensive." Later on in bed, the wife is just falling asleep. The husband tries his luck and places his hand on her hip and lower on to her thigh. She turns to him and says, "I don't think so mate. If you're not prepared to shoe the horse, then you sure as hell ain't riding it!" ¬ Operator: 911 what's your emergency? Man: A guy just got hit by a car, I need an ambulance. Operator: What's your location? Man: I'm on Eucalyptus street. Operator: Can you spell that for me? Man: (long awkward pause) Operator: Sir? Are you still there? Man: I'm gonna drag him over to Pine street and call you back. ♥ Two ole cowboys talking: "All I'm saying Slim is that the difference between humans & animals, is that animals would never allow the dumbest of the herd to lead them."
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