It is funny how quickly things change. There was a time this account was only open to a few friends, but in light of recent developments I think I will open it to everyone. It appears someone I once considered a very special friend has decided I was not worthy of being her friend even though I did what she wanted me to in an effort to get her to forgive me for being me. Well it is like the poster says if you love something set it free if it returns to you it is yours if it does not it never was. Another good poster says you should stop swimming oceans for people that will not jump a puddle for you. I am a very emotional type and when I consider someone my friend it takes a lot to change my mind. It is sad when I find someone did not value my friendship as much as I valued theirs. I was a little shocked to see she had removed any trace of her existence from this profile, but it is like I learned in therapy you can not control someone elses actions you can only control your reaction to them, and my reaction is to blog. I blog to get all the negative feelings out of my head in hopes of them not hanging round in there and making me sad. If this blog steps on anyone's toes it is probably because you feel guilty for not being as good a friend as I thought and told everyone you were.
The ironic thing is when i booted this profile up i had originally planned to take another chance at making things right with me and my lost friend, but when I saw she left this friend's list i changed my mind. I have always know I could not always have everything I wanted in this world, and wanting it very badly or missing it very much does not always bring it to you. Sometimes the person who has what you want with all your heart is holding it just beyond the reach of your fingers, and will not allow you to have it. So I must find a something different to fill the whole left in my heart.
